Tag Archives: write

Adjusting

16 Sep

I am floating on a cloud.

I can soar.

I can fly.

I am unstoppable.

 

They reach out.

I take their hand.

I want to pull them up too.

They trick me.

I am falling down.

I crash head-first into the ground.

 

This is reality, they say.

It hurts, I reply.

That’s life, they laugh.

 

They cuff my ankles.

Round the left is a chain with a metal ball marked RESPONSIBILITIES.

Round the right is a chain with a metal ball marked EXPECTATIONS.

 

Whenever I try jumping the weight pulls me down.

They tell me I am all alone.

 

That is a lie.

 

Everyone around me is cuffed, just like me.

I lift up your chains.

You lift up mine.

 

We cannot fly

but

together we can run.

Miscalculated Literary Love Equations

22 Jun

By Hadas

*inspired by The Number of People Who Meet on Airplanes by David Levithan
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We were reading the same book. I turned to her and pointed that out.

“Hello. My name is David. We’re reading the same book.”

She smiled. I told her “I love this book. Do you love it too?”

She nodded.

I thought that if I loved this book and she loved this book than maybe we could love each other. Maybe this shared love for this shared thing could exist between the lovers, even without the loved.

I asked her if she would like to join me for dinner.

She said yes.

I prepared the best meal I’d ever cooked in my life and bought the wine with the most foreign sounding name. She would ask “What wine is this?” and I would answer “Chateau Bonnet Entre-Deux-Mers” as if it were the name of my only child. I would ignore the fact that I’d named my only cat Bob. If she’d ask what it meant I’d say “Google Translate had no answer. If it’s beyond Google, it’s beyond our wildest dreams.”

She arrived. I wore my best suit and she wore her best dress. We sat face to face across the table. She’d brought her own copy of our shared love and she placed it beside mine. You couldn’t tell the difference between the two. We discussed the characters in the novel, the plot, the writing.

Eventually we moved to the living room. We sat side by side in armchairs, sipping our Google-defeater wine in small sips. I asked her what she thought about the fact that we both loved the book. She said her cousin loved it too. In fact, she had been the one to recommend it, after being given the book as a present from her boyfriend, who loved it as well.

I told her of my theory. If she loved it and I loved it then maybe we could love each other.

She told me I’d gotten the math wrong. If she loved it and it loved me then maybe that would work. But both of us loving it meant nothing. We both loved chocolates, and so did the serial killer convicted last week and so did her dog and her best friend’s brother. She told me that when she loved a book, she loved the writer – not the reader.

She said she had to go. She told me she’d had a lovely evening. Before she left she took a book from the table. She left without even telling me her last name. She didn’t know mine.

When I opened my book in bed I realized she’d taken the wrong copy. The bookmark wasn’t in the right place. It was at a page I had not reached yet.  I wondered what would happen if I just started to read from that point, instead of returning to where I was and finding out what happened in between. I decided I’d just have to find her again and ask her to tell me what I’d missed.

I started writing the next morning. I spent the next year writing. I wrote every single day. The only breaks I took were for eating, showering, sleeping, and finishing our shared love.

When I was done I contacted a publisher. I found a small bookstore that agreed to support my debut novel and put it in the front window of their store. Surprisingly, the book picked up. I started getting calls, asking if I’d write another. I was emailed with a request to turn my book into a movie. One day I was asked to host a book signing at the bookstore that first took me in.

I sat in my chair and signed the books placed in front of me. Sometimes I didn’t even bother looking up. I scribbled my name over and over, until it barely meant anything at all.

The signing event was wrapping up. I’d already begun to cap my pen when suddenly another book was set in front of me. I was surprised; I had thought the last person really was last.

I looked up. The shock registered clearly on her face.

“It’s you,” she said simply.

“It’s me,” I replied.

“I loved it,” she said.

“I wrote it,” I said.

She understood.

I couldn’t wait to find out what I’d missed.

Untitled

2 Jun

She stood there, at the top. She spread her arms out and lifted her face to the sky. The wind swirled around her, pulling at her hair. She was alone. It was perfect for her. No worries, nothing wrong. People always complicated things.

After a minute, she dropped to the ground and lay on her back, her eyes still closed. And yet, something was missing. What was it? She thought. It was quiet, no one bothering her, asking her for a favor or demanding she come help them. And yet, she could feel it in her bones – that missing thing. She sat up and opened her eyes. With one hand she reached out to grab something – something that wasn’t there. She was human, after all, and we humans cannot survive alone. Maybe alone wasn’t equivalent to perfection. Maybe, to find perfection, we need another person.

She quickly got up and started walking down the hill. No use looking for heaven all alone. 

The Things No One Told Me

19 May

I came out into the world completely unprepared and entirely caught off guard.
No one told me I’d need thicker skin, to fight off the weather and the people.
No one told me I’d need to figure things out myself, and that no guidebook could solve my problems.
No one told me that no matter how many years I spent studying, I’d always somehow, in some sort of situation, end up saying “I don’t know.”
No one told me where dead people go.
No one told me every solution would give birth to a problem.
No one told me I’d sometimes feel all alone.
No one even asked me if I WANTED to be here.
No one told me how to handle my fear.
No one told me how to succeed in life.
No one told me the point of it all.
But most importantly, no one told me that after years of living and learning and working so hard, I’d still somehow feel completely unprepared and entirely caught off guard.

Untitled / Hadas

6 May

When I was younger I was told we always got a second chance. I was told that mistakes can be corrected and that I can always change my mind.

That flower I tore from the ground and took home, the one I later found out was nearly extinct? I ran all the way back to the garden and tried planting it back. It didn’t work.

Roots (3/5/2013)

3 May

The roots wouldn’t fit on the plane so I had to chop them off. I tried my best to not cut off too much. When I looked down from the plane I saw my stump, a small clearing in the center of my forest. I was afraid the others will grow thicker branches and bigger leaves and cover up my spot.

In my new home I am rootless. I dug up a pit and stuck my trunk inside but it simply cannot go deep enough. Here I have no private spot. I didn’t even have time to get planted. They just dropped me in here. The other trees, they tell stories and jokes and they don’t understand why I seem out of place. They cannot tell I have no roots below.

My present is here.

My past is there.

I am a topless stump.

I am a rootless tree.

Link

Group Therapy

20 Apr

By Hadas
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Group Therapy / Hadas (Me)

We’ll all begin by introducing ourselves, says the brown-haired-average-height-has-at-least-two kids-and-a-real-estate-agent-of-a-husband-both-of-them-nearing -midlife-crisis group counselor.

Dr. John Smith, Cardiac Surgeon, states the blue eyed blond haired man to her left, followed by redheaded Professor Mary Thompson, Historian who is sitting on crew cut Sergeant Bill Miller, Ex-Marine’s right who has his chair slightly turned to his skinny-as-a-stick wife Madame Angelique Dupont-Miller, World-Famous Baker who just smiled at dressed for a funeral Judge Claire Gessler, New York Supreme Court.

Jess, citizen of Planet Earth.

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